Which internet culture would build the best civilization?

I played the top mobile games so you don't have to

When you live a life of never ending pain

I survived 99 nights in the forest but it’s Happy Wheels

I got paid to abuse millions of dollars in equipment

I started a hair saloon where no one survives

I became president only to ruin lives

When you break bones at 670,616,629 mph

making everyone's life unbearable in under 30 seconds